Time To Talk Day: a conversation can go a long way
For this ‘Time to Talk’ day we would like to highlight the power that a simple conversation may have in helping someone who might be experiencing poor Mental Health.
Simply by being there and listening can make a huge difference. We would like to share the experience of one of our employees, Mike Wakefield, who explains the impact that this conversation had for his own mental health challenges and how this has helped him:
What prompted you to talk about your mental health challenges?
“Back in May 2020, I had what I term as a wobble. I spent the previous nine weeks worried about others, family, friends, colleagues, trying to keep the tempo up and spirits high, posting numerous poorly photo-shopped images of myself on Facebook trying to make others laugh, trying to bring up the morale on every call I was on, trying to mask those inner demons and feeling completely lost and exhausted mentally.
I have suffered with depression for many years, some years better than others, usually I can ‘ride the wave’, I know the signs and the triggers and can pull myself up, but was so wrapped up trying to be ‘that guy’ I missed them.
I was on a call and missed a self-imposed deadline to provide some data. Looking back it was not a biggie, nothing critical; I just didn’t have enough time. I began to panic, I began to choke up and I found myself fighting back tears. It was nothing, but it was something. I blurted out an apology, dropped off the call, and proceeded to have an anxiety attack.
Within a few minutes, Sam, a colleague I have confided in previously, who was also on the call rang me and asked if I was ok. My immediate self-defence response was ‘yes’ although still choking back tears and struggling to catch my breath, she then said… ‘You don’t sound ok, what’s on your mind?’ This question opened the floodgates and I began to talk about everything that was swimming around in my head, everything I had been blocking out; my insecurities, my fears, was I doing enough?
Sam then spent the next 30 minutes listening to me offload these thoughts, not judging me, but listening to me. No comments of ‘you should’ it was more ‘how about you try’, it made me take a step back and realise I wasn’t alone and that there was a way forward”.
What was it that made the most difference in that first conversation?
“It was the fact that Sam just listened, she didn’t judge me, she didn’t tell me what I needed to do, yes, she made suggestions of different approaches I could take, but it wasn’t forced and again there was no judgement”.
Can you explain how talking openly about your mental health and experiences has helped you?
“It’s helped me be more open with family, friends and colleagues about how, and what I am feeling. I am not embarrassed to talk about this, I’ve lost count of the number of people that have reached out to me since I began to talk about this on calls and also on social media. I think the last two years have been difficult for everyone. We have missed that human interaction in the workplace, the opportunistic chats at the coffee machine, which would previously have been a quick ‘check in’ with a colleague. We have masked our feelings both figuratively and literally, it’s also difficult to tell if someone is ok through a computer screen.
Therefore, if by openly sharing my experiences I can get one person to open up or for someone to ask a colleague ‘you don’t sound ok, what’s on your mind?’ then it’s worth it. We have to get past the stigma of mental health being something we don’t talk about, it’s ok to not be ok”.
On this year’s ‘Time to Talk’ day, we encourage you to take time out of your day to connect with colleagues, friends and family and start a conversation with them. Talking about mental health may feel uncomfortable at first but it helps create a supportive environment where people feel able to open up about any problems they may be facing and seek help where needed.
You never know the difference you might make by simply starting a conversation!
If you are unsure about how to start a conversation around mental health here are some top tips, which might help:
- Ask questions and listen
- Think about the time and place
- Don't try and fix it
- Treat them the same
- Be patient
External resources
- The website has some great resources around starting a conversation around mental health.
- Dr Julie Smith explains how prevalent Mental Health challenges are amongst the people you know in this impactful .
